Gran Turismo 6: Tesla Model S

Tesla have been going quite well in the sadly rather pointless race to make electric cars work in the modern day, with the idiotic choking out of strong petrol engines. The Roadster did a good job in convincing us all as the first of a fast kind of electric car, but ended up being rather more famous for being its subject of a legal wrangle with Top Gear over fake claims of breakdowns.
As more companies took to the basis of making fast electric cars, the catalysts Tesla went and started working on the Model S. The timing of its release proved critical, as at this point Fisker was taking the plaudits with its super-intelligent Karma but showing financial collapse – and in March they went bankrupt. They have been acquired by another company since then though.
Tesla however go on strongly, and their focus on electric cars continues here with the Model S. And, to add to the Tesla Roadster introduced to GT5, it now arrives in GT6.
And Polyphony Digital seemed rather too keen to confirm that, showing the hell out of the Tesla in its trailers. They even went and took the step of putting it in the main Pre-Order Precision Pack – which really says how important they view it as in this game.
As a result, many players now have their own free electric machine. Unfortunately, when they drive it, they might find themselves fairly disappointed. Actually no. They’ll find themselves catastrophically disappointed. And spinning quite a lot.
The reason for this is because the Tesla’s characteristics, in terms of the new GT6 physics engine, really outdo it. The Roadster didn’t work particularly well under GT5’s engine, exhibiting some quite bizarre behavious at times.
And so it goes with the Model S. It does feel very fast, the instant torque pushing you well down the straights…until you reach 60. Then the power drops off immediately because electric engines are largely designed to work like that. And so it feels like a slowcoach at that point. 415bhp? Yeah right…
Also, it weighs a fucking shit-ton. 2018kg is just way, way too much even for a car of this type. Most cars that weigh more than the year they were made in do not have signature performance, contrary to what the title of this car is…
But that isn’t even the biggest outdoing of the Tesla. The big one is the RR drivetrain, which I actually think might have been rather misrepresented in this game.
The problem is, because the big electric motor is at the back, where it also drives the wheels, you have nothing at the front end and therefore a really fucking slippery rear. And on the Tesla…it is really screwed up.
You spin a lot with the torque and power, and it’s even difficult to get it back again because every time you hit the throttle you have all the torque thrust upon you. So not only is the torque only useful until you reach 60, but it is a hopeless burden everywhere else.
Expect dirt marks on a lot of drives with this thing.
And it doesn’t even add anything special to cover it up. Obviously because it’s electric there’s no sound to benefit, which most blind idiots who go for the vacuum cleaner remark will say is better, actually.
And it doesn’t look special enough either. I know they’ve tried to make it look different to other modern saloons, and it does. But it still looks like a modern saloon. A modern saloon will look special if it doesn’t look like any of its peers. And this one still does.
And with any luck, cars of its power won’t last long enough to make a big change anyway. It is a big business these days and a real one that is making its mark on the car industry further and further. But pure electricity is not even the most economical way to go for the mentalists who brought up the big idea anyway.
Because, as far as I can really see, it’s actually hydrogen that’s best. Hydrogen is the most abundant entity in the universe, and while it is difficult to facilitate at the moment, mainly because of price, there’s a chance that soon enough, it won’t be. Honda already showcased a hydrogen car, so why don’t others do it? It’d be more useful than electricity even in your home, because eventually you’d be able to use the hydrogen in your car to power your house possibly…
But that’s for another time. The long and short of it is, in GT6, the Tesla Model S is crap. If you got it in your pre-order, don’t drive it, because you’ll die trying most likely. Take the other 4/9/however many cars you got instead and leave it to be a 15th Anniversary livery saloon that looks similar to most other saloons.

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